As a mum, I’m sure I’m not alone in having those moments where I say “Yes” to a child just to make my life easier in the moment. I know you know what I mean. However every time I say “yes” instead of no I’m nearly always left feeling deflated and weary. Instead, we need to empower your “no” to make our “yes” matter. Here is an example. 

empower

Years ago I was ripping my hair out trying to figure out technology (it’s great but it’s also one of the most frustrating things around – right?). Anyhow on this day, my kids were bugging me to play in my room. I can’t even remember the request I just know I needed them out of my hair. So instead of saying “no, mums room is not a place to play”, I said – “yes”. 

What unfolded next was my bathroom being covered in shampoo, conditioner and lotions to create a giant slippery runway to launch themselves onto. Fun? Yes. Harmless? Kind of, except my vanity cupboards will never be the same but…

I should have said “no” because I had the shits for the rest of the afternoon when I then had to spend the next hour cleaning up the constant bubbling mess. Taking me away from other priorities I had.

There have been countless other times when I said “yes” instead of “no” to please people or to make things easy at the moment, however, each time it has backfired on me. 

You probably have your own stories too …

As a mum, I’m sure I’m not alone in having those moments where I say “Yes” to a child just to make my life easier in the moment. I know you know what I mean. However every time I say “yes” instead of no I’m nearly always left feeling deflated and weary. Instead, we need to empower your “no” to make our “yes” matter. Here is an example. 

Like saying “yes” to that double date with the guy who always makes you feel like crap.

Or “yes” to the school bake sale when you have a heap of other things on your plate and you end up tiring yourself out. 

Or how about the time your mother asked you to invite your Nanny to stay (because we all have a responsibility) and you end up being the one that needs to introduce her to adult nappies – oops that’s another Me story. 

But I think you get the idea. Every time you say “yes” to everything and everyone you give away your power and end up stretched too thin. But when you say “no” you empower your “yes” to matter more.

Your no empowers your yes. 

Let’s just remember that you deserve to be selective, you get to put yourself and your own needs first. To empower your yes you need to discover what your priorities are and not spend time on other things. 

How to empower your “No” and make your “Yes” matter

Discover and Uncover 

Write down 5 things that matter most to you. This will help you work out what really matters for you in your life. 

Check-in

Now read back over these and have a look at where you are spending most of your time. It’s super easy to get caught up in one part of life whilst the other parts fall by the wayside. Hello #mumguilt

Reflect

Looking at your priorities and where you are spending most of your time. Are they aligned? So often we think we are saying “yes” to what matters to us however we aren’t, instead we are putting our energy and focus on the priorities of others which slowly drains us of confidence and time. (and just saying this is normal you’re not alone)

Cut out the fat

I know that sounds weird however when we are unconsciously giving time away we are fattening up our to-do list – leaving you stretched too thin and probably stressed the heck out. Have a look at what can you cut back on to make time for your priorities and a little self-care.

And remember this; always check in with how you feel. If saying “yes” makes to feel light keep going. If it makes you feel heavy and pushed. Turn that yes into a “no”.

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Messy Mum's Playbook

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It’s time to give yourself permission to live a happy, fulfilled life you LOVE.

Own Yours Here

Hey, I’m Ang leading DreamBuilder coach and business success mentor, international best selling author of The Messy Mum’s Playbook, mum and founder of the Firefly Academy and Firefly DreamBuilder.

Blessed to help mums move from chaos to calm to achieve their business, family and life goals… so they can start living with greater freedom, love and happiness.