What to do if you hate yourself

What to do if you hate yourself, typing these words almost make me want to vomit in my green juice, but I get it and 90% of women feel the same as you. As a mum and woman, I have definitely spent time standing in front of the mirror not liking what was reflected back at me.

But first let me start by saying: I don’t hate myself. I mean…at least not any more. There have been times where I would hate my reflection in the mirror, I would hide behind baggy clothing, I would get resentful or even jealous of other people’s success. There has been many a time when it has felt like everything in my life was — falling apart.

There have been times in my marriage where it felt more like co-parenting with my flatmate who didn’t pick up after himself, my career wasn’t panning and my social life was as non-existent as my sex life.

It was hard to get up in the morning, hard to eat right and go to the gym, plus I would second guess EVERYTHING.

What to do if you hate yourself can feel harder than spreading cold butter on toast on some days however here is the thing…Hating yourself suuuucks the energy from your body, hits your self-esteem like a sledgehammer and is a slippery slope into feeling like you don’t deserve happiness, success, or, if I’m honest, has you questioning your purpose.

Here is what helped me not hate myself and help me create the life I now get to live and love daily.

? Declutter Your Home

Have you ever walked into someone’s house and it was a total mess and then you realised maybe THAT’S why she’s a little scatterbrained and stressed? I’m not saying this is ALWAYS true, but trust me when I say that tidiness in your home + workspace reflects the tidiness of your thoughts.

It’s hard to feel motivated to do anything, or even feel good about yourself when all you can see is a mess. Mess and clutter messes with your head sister, it makes you feel bogged down, heavy and lacking in self-worth.

Think about your wardrobe. If it’s crammed with clothes from every time you changed weight or filled with stuff that you feel yuck wearing, how are you ever going to feel good about yourself and actually want to go out? Is your undies drawer filled with granny undies that make you feel about as sexy as a paper bag? Or have you got your house cluttered with stuff in every corner? This is all dead energy which all contributes to making you feel like crap.

What about your activewear? Are you inspired to move your bootie? Not really? What about your messy bedroom? Think you’ll feel sexy + romantic while rolling around on a pile of dirty clothes? Nope? It’s kind of like when you can’t fall asleep peacefully knowing the sink is full of dirty dishes. (I know you KNOW what I’m talking about!)…You wake up feeling tired, uninspired and hating yourself.

To amp up the feel goood mood from all your decluttering – Donate all the stuff you no longer need to someone else. Except for the granny undies – never rehouse the granny undies, they belong nowhere – not even granny!

? Feed Your Soul and Move Your Bootie

I find it funny how we fuel our cars and pets better than ourselves. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you eat foods that make you feel heavy and clogged up, like bread, pasta, sugary foods and cakes on the daily. Eat the colours of the rainbow (fresh colours, not the different coloured packages you find on supermarket shelves with pictures of unicorns on them) and foods that bless your body instead of foods to numb out your emotions. The result is; you will have amazing energy, sleep better, have a flatter tummy and greater Va Va Vooom.

Drink water, the elixir of life and love. What I discovered when I upped my water game (drinking 2.5L a day) was I found I had clearer skin, snacked less and found decision making so much easier. The brain fog cleared…Yay. Drink more!

Move Your Bootie Baby, the science proves it and you know it. The more you move the better you feel, the better you feel the more confident you are, the more confident you are the better ALL areas of our life will get. Move for at least 30 minutes a day. Get yourself a kick-butt playlist that makes you WANT to move, and wear gear that you feel good moving in. Get a bestie involved…Just move daily.

? Dress to feel great

How often do you get dressed up? Once every now and then? Only when you go out? Here is the thing. When we get dressed up, wear all our jewels and bracelets, pop our favourite lippy on or even sexy underwear, we feel better about ourselves. Dress so you feel great. This is different for everyone. For myself, it’s activewear that makes me feel slim and strong along with my coloured lip balm and mascara.

For others its certain jewellery, blow-dried hair, bright red lippy or matching underwear. It doesn’t matter “what” dressing up is for you as long as you feel good wearing it. When I am slopping about in daggy clothes I feel invisible and frumpy.

Embrace your own “I feel awesome” style and rock it, sister!

? Harness The Beauty Of Daily Gratitude Practice

What I know to be true is that when you feel anxious, stepping into gratitude shifts the experience. Gratitude shifts the brain from focusing on what’s wrong and what’s not working into looking for better. This lifts the mood and spirit within you, helping you step out of anxiety and overwhelm and closer to your greatness.

A favourite practice I use with myself, clients and kids; I will look all around me and find things to be grateful for, like the flower on my desk as I type this, the water I have in my glass quenching my thirst.

Another powerful practise is to walk around where you are or go outside and walk around blessing everything you see. Bless the sun’s warmth on your face, the tree’s beautiful leaves, the amazingness that is the car. The list is unlimited.

Look for things to bless and be grateful for daily and you will always feel more alive to life.

? Light Your Inner Love Light

Light your inner light using sexy powerful language and meditation. The words we use daily create the results we have. If you say you can’t you won’t if you say you feel like crap you will. The words we use are our wands of creation they help you attract what you desire instead of more of what you’ve got.

Use powerful sexy words like “I can”, “I will”, “I choose”, “I love”, “I have”. Seriously girlfriend go back and read those words out loud again…Already you feel stronger, more energised and good, Right? Words have amazing attraction power.

Meditate daily, Take the first 5-10 minutes of your day to scoot your butt back and meditate. I know it feels like “really”…however, it will change your life. Our brains throw around all weird thoughts and crap, meditation helps you take back control. Who doesn’t like that feeling?

? Detox Your Circle of Influence

You become like the 5 people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with people that help you grow and be the best version of yourself, that is what you will become. However, if you are surrounding yourself with people who are on the same wavelength of hating themselves, or gossiping about others to make themselves seem better, you will feel like crap and continue to struggle with your inner mean girls’ taunts.

While we are on the circle of influence detox, take some time to detox your Social Media. Please remember that what you see on social media is not a true representation of their lives. It’s made pretty, filtered or sometimes completely made up. If what you are following is making you feel bad about yourself and lowers your self-esteem, empower yourself right now to unfollow. Instead, seek out a tribe who inspire you, lift you and create a spark of love and light within.

? Boot Your Need To Compare

Your inner mean girls best friend’s name is Comparisonitis and when these two get together we feel like s#!t!. Comparisonitis poisons your mind, body and soul, then while she’s at it she begins to sap the energy from your dreams. Here are a few I have been caught up in; she is fitter, skinnier, more successful, curvier, has better-behaved children, is calmer, has hair that I can’t even begin to know how to re-create…The list can go on, but I’m sure that you get the idea. Stop comparing yourself today …please! You’re the most beautiful, the most fun, lovable and successful you when you embrace yourself, your quirks and flaws. Being yourself turns you into a super attractor – Own your powerfully feminine self

? Have A Dream and Set A Goal

This is the next vital piece… giving yourself permission to follow a dream, create a vision and achieve a goal. Nothing feels better or gives you greater confidence in yourself than having a dream or goal to set your loving sights on. I have only ever felt alive when I am aiming for something and living with purpose. As a mum, this makes me a better mum, as a wife it makes me a sexy partner.

I know that this sounds as scary as a hungry tired toddler/teenager (is there a difference?!?) but trust me this saved me from myself, saved my marriage and brought me back to life. It helped me find my identity outside of being a Mumma, a wife and an employee of someone else.
Spend a few minutes daily visualising yourself living your best life.

Create affirmations that empower you, meditate and feel into living an abundant, successful life. Use your imagination to empower you and lift you up.

What dreams or goals sit on your heart that you would love to pursue but are scared shirtless?

Go after it girl…and P.S. It’s time to not hate yourself any longer. Don’t ever be sorry for wanting a better. You were meant to live an extraordinary life.