1: Start taking notice of my thoughts and feelings
I started keeping a thought and feeling diary, kind of like a food diary. I started to take notice of the trends and patterns that triggered my guilt and anxiety.
When you can notice what’s happening inside you, miracles of change start to happen.
2: Practice Mindful Breathing
When I’d notice I was starting to feel the familiar signs of guilt and anxiety, I would start breathing mindfully with intention. Breathing mindfully simply means focusing on the present moment, the now. I would stop what I was doing and start taking conscious deep breaths in through the nose and out of my mouth.
The trick I tell my clients is to keep taking nice deep breaths in and out until you notice your feet. That’s when you know you’re in your body and not caught up in your head which, at times, is a freaky scary place. Coming back to your breathing feels like coming home, lowers the blood pressure and quietens down the mind from it’s racing thoughts.
3: Take a step back AND take back control
After I have calmed my nervous system down through conscious, intentional breathing, I would take a step back and take back control.
Think of it like being a fly on the wall. Here’s a questioning technique you can try that I used (this is empowering beyond measure)
Questions to ask:
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“What can I do to prevent the worst from happening?”
“What can I do if the worst happens?”
4: Embrace an attitude of gratitude and appreciation
I know that you have probably heard this before perhaps on a Youtube video or past Oprah show, but it’s totally true. Time after time when I am all caught up in a state of mum guilt and anxiety stepping into a state of gratitude breaks the cycle.
The favourite way of stepping into a state of gratitude that I love and use myself and teach my clients is by stopping whatever it is I am doing. Taking some deep breaths, then looking around for things to be grateful for.
Look for the little things. For example, as I sit here typing I am grateful for the beautiful pink flowers on my table, their colour is vibrant which make me feel good.
I can see my gorgeous dog spread out on the rug near me and I am grateful for her unconditional love, if I listen closely I can hear birds signing in my back yard somewhere, simply listening to their song lifts me up.
Can you see, look for the little things right at the moment that you can give gratitude towards and you will feel your entire energy and thoughts change.
It’s impossible to feel grateful and anxious at the same time.
5: Give yourself a pat on the back
As a mum life gets crazy busy from time to time, and there is a lot to do. Give yourself a pat on the back for all the things you do. You are doing an incredible job juggling and looking after, everybody.
It’s important you also look after yourself and do things that are just for you and that light your heart on fire. Just because you’re a mum doesn’t mean you are to forget about you.
Move your body every day.
Take 10 minutes a day to meditate or journal your thoughts and feelings.
Surround yourself with people that help you feel better about yourself and that are helping you grow as a person instead of keeping you stuck.
Be sure you drink more water and eat well…Your body will thank you for it and your mind will follow.